I wasn’t hungry when I woke up – I was still kinda sick to my stomach from all the damage I did over the weekend, and especially Sunday night – that old night before the diet – when I eat everything in site because I am never, ever again in life going to have access to that food – how crazy is that? Yet how many times in my life have I done the same thing? Well, this is all about breaking old patterns – or so I’m told by Ken, my coach. He’s good – very good – and tells me exactly how to do every day of the cleanse – if I didn’t have a call with him today I probably wouldn’t be going on to the real cleanse days tomorrow and Thursday – where there is no food – to speak of, unless you call 2 almonds every few hours, but only if I need them (are you serious) along with my cleanse drink, not to be confused with my chocolate shake that I don’t get to have on cleanse days.

But back to today. I waited too long to have my shake because I had a meeting – and by the time it was done I really needed it – then I took a nap because I was really tired. Woke up, did some errands, including going to the grocery store so I could get my supplies for the next two days – dry roasted almonds and organic applies. Mind you I can only have 1/4 of the apply and/or 2 almonds if I need them (seriously) oh and water. I’m supposed to drink a gallon of water a day – do you know how much a gallon of water is? A LOT!  And can we talk about going to the grocery store where there is lots and lots of  food and you can’t have any of it?  Not fun – but I’m told it’s better to go to the grocery store on shake days then it is on cleanse days, so I went today.

Ken told me 20% of the results happen tomorrow and 80% happen the second day – the real cleansing of the toxins “so don’t cheat” he tells me. Before he told me this I was already planning to cheat. Yes, you read that right – I was planning to cheat. And then I realized something. It’s just another way I have always sabotaged myself and set myself up for failure – only in this one thing in life – my weight – but it is the predominate force in my life, so I’m glad I had that realization so early into the process.

So, I’m going to do it – two days is a piece of cake – ok, I know I shouldn’t use that term – it’s a walk in the park, which, by the way, I just did. Not a walk in the park, but I did, for the very first time since I moved to this house in February, take my dogs for a walk around the block. Hard to believe, I know – I haven’t even been able to motivate myself to do that – but that’s in the past – and I’m only looking forward. Wish me luck. If I’m not dead, you’ll hear more from me tomorrow night.


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