The Importance of Community

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in things I forget what is most important in my life. I deny myself the things that bring me joy because I don’t have time or I’m too lazy. The most recent reason is getting wrapped up in the business of Wild Boomer Women. It’s an instant community of girlfriends. You can walk in alone to any event we have and by the time you leave you have a room full of new girlfriends. That is very true. It’s where I’ve met some of my closest girlfriends, and I love that. Somehow, while building Wild Boomer Women as a business and in the process of creating community for others, I’ve lost my communities. I didn’t actually lose them. In fact they were still there waiting for me; I just haven’t participated in them.

This really occurred to me last night, when I went to my spiritual community. It had been so long since I had been there; I couldn’t actually remember when it was. Of course I was living in Sedona for a couple years and my community is in Phoenix, but I have been living back here since March. I didn’t even feel like participating in the High Holidays this year. I almost went, but when a friend backed out, I decided not to go. Last night was my father’s Yartzite, the anniversary of his leaving this world. For the past few years, I have been saying Kadash (the prayer you say to honor your loved one during Yartzite) on my own. Last night I decided to go to Temple. I had one girlfriend pick me up and another one meeting us there, so I wouldn’t be alone. What I didn’t remember is that everyone there is my community. I hadn’t been there in so long and they welcomed me, literally with open arms. So many people were so happy to see me (and I them). Then the service began and “my” Sharona was back (in addition to being a girlfriend, she’s my spiritual teacher who retired and now is back as Cantor Emerita). There’s nothing like hearing that sweet, beautiful voice to bring me back home to my spiritual community. There was lots of singing and clapping and even some dancing. The people in my spiritual community have so much joy during this time they just get up and start a dance line around the room, kinda like a Jewish conga line.

This morning I finally took my dogs Sterling & Paris out for a walk. Again, I have been so busy getting ready for the Women’s Expo that I get up in the morning, throw on some clothes, let the dogs out, put the coffee and my computer on, and there I sit for hours on end. Meanwhile, the poor puppies have to be satisfied with just greeting their friends from the yard. The dogs have their own community too. It brings Sterling so much joy to be able to go up to another dog and sniff. It brings Paris so much joy to get to run untethered in the park. Yet, I’ve been depriving them of their community.

I’ve stopped going to my exercise community. I know my trainer misses me. He keeps texting me to find out when I’m coming back. Yes, he gets paid when I go, but we do have fun together while I am grunting and groaning and calling him names, not to mention the physical and mental benefits I derive from it.

What communities have you been staying away from? Have you been too absorbed in work or something else that you don’t take the time to refresh yourself? It really does make me happier when I participate in my communities. I think it will work for you too.


Do You Love What You Do?

Steve Jobs died today.  A brilliant man who died too young.  Unfortunately it’s an all too common story.  Many die with lots of regrets.  It doesn’t seem like Steve did and with that, there are lessons for all of us.

He didn’t start out being one of the richest men in the world who created things that have changed the way we live.  He was adopted and was a college drop-out; circumstances that some people use as excuses for a life not well lived.

He started Apple at the age of 20 in his parent’s garage.  Ten years later he had over 4,000 employees and a company worth $2 billion.  Then he got fired from the company he started.  It was a very devastating public failure for him.

Because he still loved what he did (that’s the key here folks), he started again with two new companies; NeXT Computers and Pixar Animation.  Then Apple bought NeXT and he was back at the company he started.  He says that would never have happened if he didn’t get fired.

Getting fired is the thing that puts most people in a panic.  And that is a normal initial reaction, but if you continue along that path, you set yourself up for failure.  If, however, you look at it as an opportunity to do something else, something even better, it will change your life.

Steve said “You’ve  got to find what you love.  Do what you believe is great work (which is whatever you love to do).  Keep looking and don’t settle.”

Many years ago he saw a quote that went something like this; “If you live each day as if it were your last, some day you will be right.”  That inspired him, and every day for the next 39 years he looked in the mirror and would say to himself “If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today, and whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

He went on to say “remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool to help me make the big decisions of life.”  I think he lived a very good life.  Let’s all take a lesson from Steve.

Why Do I Need A Land Line?

I have moved around a lot lately.  This is the third place I’ve lived in  More

Remember Fake ID?

When I was 16 I got my first fake ID.  My friends and I went to a shady place in Downtown Detroit where everyone was getting them.  I don’t remember how much we paid the guy, but pretty soon, we were all 18, and in 1972 in Michigan 18 was the legal drinking age.  I still have the ID.

Flash forward 39 years and I’m again lying about my age.  I resisted at first and for a couple of years.  Two years ago my girlfriend had just turned 60 and was now qualified for a senior discount at the movies.  She told me to try it, but I was only 53 and absolutely refused to call myself anything like a senior.   She bought two senior tickets and gave me one.  I didn’t want to be seen taking the ticket, lest anyone think I was that old!

However, in these days of saving every dollar you can, and being two years older, but still  five years too young to actually qualify, I have no qualms marching right up to the window and saying, as I did last night “one senior for Terrible Bosses”.  It was $6.50 and I felt good.  What kid at the ticket counter is going to ask an “older” person for ID?  It’s nothing like when I was 16 and trying to get a drink in a bar.  If you say you are a senior, who the hell is going to ask you for ID?  My girlfriend, who is the same age as me, is where I was two years ago.  She refuses to say she is a senior.  So she says “one ticket for Terrible Bosses”.  Then she forks over $9.50!  Three dollars more for refusing to tell this little white lie.

I feel a little creepy for saying I was a senior to save a measly $3.  Creepy because in my mind I am still that 16-year-old trying to get away with being 18.  Creepy because I’m lying to save $3.  And really creepy to say I am a senior.  But, none the less, I’m still willing to do it at the next movie – and hope I don’t get carded again!

The New Website

It’s been a year in the making.  A lot of false starts and stops because of people who claimed they were web designers.  When I finally found Dawn at Creative Biz Gal I finally hit the jackpot.  Dawn is so great to work with, she gets it and she keeps at it until she’s got exactly what you want.  She’s also fun to work with and is does what she says she’s going to do.

I feel like I’ve been at my computer day at night for weeks – oh wait, I have!  It’s still a work in progress but it’s a launched work in progress.  I’m very excited to announce it to the members and the world.

Changing My Blog Name

I am changing the name to THE ADVENTURES OF QUEEN SUE.  That’s really what my life is all about.  Even transformation is adventure.  Last week I took my 7 year old god daughter up in a helicopter.  She was completely fine with it.  I used to say that I would never fly in a small plane, let alone a helicopter, but lately I’ve been feeling it’s time.  So, up we went.  The pilot kept asking Allie if she was ok.  She kept saying, yes, but Sue is a little nervous!  It was great and after the first couple of minutes, I began to relax and enjoy the view.  The view being Sedona.  Can’t get much better than that. 

Today I’m off to Phoenix for the weekend to take a motorcycle class!  It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for quite a while.  Can’t wait.  Tonight is classroom and tomorrow and Sunday is actual riding.  More adventures to come.

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